In my first article, “Invitation Only,” I welcomed readers to join my journey through the cannabis space from the perspective of a Naive Newbie. I briefly described my dysfunctional relationship with the industry as being similar to an orphan because I don’t have any legitimate claim into either Big Pharm, nor the Legacy grow space. I am a loner, and thus The Naive Newbie is born. 

My actual stoner birthday wasn’t until I was, well, I don’t remember. I want to say that I was 25, but I honestly can’t recall. I’ll tell you later why I’m named Amnesia. What I can recall was the exact experience I had with it, though. Every moment. Every feeling. I treasure that memory because it was the beginning of Blue Amnesia. Not in a literal sense, but that was the night that my pretty little healing seed was planted! 

I am grateful for many things that my ex-husband has brought into my life, but introducing me to cannabis was…I’m not going to say that it was as big of a contribution as let's say, my kids, but I will say that it ranks very high on the list of things that man has done right. Our marriage was already crumbling on the naive foundation that we built as kids together and we could sense its doom looming ahead. I personally had never really smoked weed before and was fairly uptight when it came to the subject because I was raised in a very intense household. I didn’t learn of my parent’s involvement with the plant until years after I had become “the stoner” in the family, and by comparison to many other “family stoners” I was way late to the party. 

Speaking of parties, my at-the-time-husband and I were at a company holiday party when he convinced me that cannabis would save my marriage. Naive, huh? Spoiler alert: it didn’t save my marriage, but it did save me! But anyways, it was Christmas time and we were at his company’s holiday party. It was the first company event we went to outside of his military experience and it was a snooze fest. It was also one of the only times that we had “date night,” as we had two young children and only one income. 

My suggestion to liven the party up was exquisite, and certainly just as memorable, but far more taboo to talk about in a publication. It was exactly the thing to put me in an open-minded mood, however, and so my then-husband suggested that we add to the night by smoking a blunt together when we got home. It was single-handedly the best memory I have of our entire marriage, if I’m being blunt myself. 

I remember thinking after only about fifteen minutes that I was going to be too high strung and intent on having complete control over my own mind and body. I was worried that I would ruin my own experience and not ever feel the effects of the plant. I laid down on our dingey old second-hand couch full of disappointment, and began throwing myself a pity party for one. It was a proper playful tantrum with folded arms, pouty face, and downward lip curl. 

My partner had plugged in the Christmas tree to cheer me up, and headed to the kitchen to gather the snacks since he was already absolutely LIT. I was in the middle of trying to explain that I wasn’t sure which snacks I wanted because I wasn’t even high and didn’t feel….annnnnnnd that’s when it hit. The LIGHTS! They were so freaking beautiful! Every single one of them turned into one of those special twinkling stars that stand out in the night sky. There were so many colors and somehow my eyes had managed to affix to both my long sighted abilities and my short sighted abilities simultaneously! My Christmas tree had become dimensional in a way that I can’t really describe coherently, and my senses were heightened like I was just bitten by a radioactive spider or something. I could literally smell the cheese dust from the bag of munchies that he was trying to sneak eat in the pantry on the other side of our apartment, and I could feel air pass through my nasal cavity into my lungs. 

My existence became so much more intentional at that point. I was connected. To Earth. To my husband. But most importantly, to me. I became self aware of how I contributed to the stigma of marijuana and how I was naive in my judgment of the plant growing up. It was now my most loyal lover, there to guide me through the turbulence of life and all the ailments that I’ve collected along the way, including a massively traumatic divorce to the very man who helped me plant my healing seed. 

It is now nearly a decade later and I have continued my love affair with the plant, mostly in secret, though, which limits the educational resources that are available, y’know? Now that I don’t feel as vulnerable to the implications of being associated with the plant, I feel safer exploring more resources for knowledge surrounding the healing components of my treasured medicine. Thus I present to you a new series of sorts - “The Naive Newbie.” 

I’m hoping that by taking up space, even as a Naive Newbie, I will be offering a special place for other naive newbs to gather resources and insights that help them to learn and interact with the growing industry. It’s so much less intimidating to do so alongside someone who relates to their level of understanding. I’m hoping that, as the Naive Newbie, I will be allowed access to both Legacy Mom and Big Pharm Dad to learn, connect, and celebrate all that cannabis is, was, and will be.