Your Doctor Probably Tokes, But You Would Never Know

Written By Dr. Olivia Green

“Walking into my job’s occupational health office sends my stomach into more twists than a pretzel. In my profession, an employee physical is standard. Also like many professions, a drug test is utilized for screening. When I got the job offer several years ago, I made sure that my urine was pristine.

The reason I walked into occupational health last week with an armpit full of piss was for a “lateral” promotion. You see, I’m a medical prescriber working in an outpatient clinic located in a non-legal state. I carry a little bottle of synthetic urine with me during work hours, wherever I go. Call it anxiety, call it overkill, call it smart, call it whatever you want. I call it insurance.”