Useless Stigma
Photo Courtesy of Unsplash
I remember when Mom found my secret stash of weed. It was seven years ago and I was just divorced, so I had moved back in with Mom. One day, I found my glass bong out of his bubble-wrap protector, with my zip-lock bag of mystery-strain weed thrown about on the bed. I now understood why she ignored me upon my arrival home that day. How could she still be this judgmental?
My heart pounded out of my chest as I held my bong in both hands. It felt so lifeless. What was I going to say in response to her discovery that I was partaking in “drogas” and committing sins? I had planned on telling her that a friend gave it to me, as this was the only logical explanation aside from the truth. Before I could complete the story in my mind, she was standing behind me at my bedroom door.
It was a weird situation because Mom felt that I was doing something immoral, and I believed I was doing something criminal. After defending and listing cannabis’ medicinal properties, I accepted that I lost the battle. What hurt the most is that she was not on my side. My plea for approval sounded a lot like that of a weed-smoking teenager, yet I never even used marijuana as a teen. I didn’t use cannabis in my college years either due to the anxious idea that I would look and sound so different from the normal version of me, so much so that I would scare myself and my parents would ultimately send me to jail. I existed at the University of Florida in a chronic state of panic and pain. I could never understand how my Fine Arts classmates were able to relax with their favorite stash of weed next to a couple of alligators sunbathing by the lake.
Photo Courtesy of Gemma Evans / Unsplash
Seven years later, the law has progressively changed. It’s fair to say all parties were innocent. Now, society’s emotional opinions about marijuana have been humbled. Cannabis has gone from being demonized to finally being researched and legalized, which proves how easy it is to manipulate opinions regarding nature and biology in the first place. Why must we stigmatize nature in order to legitimize our societal fears and insecurities? Why do we try to regulate nature when we are the ones making nature complicated?
I moved back in with Mom this year, and the circumstances have changed. Mom’s only rule is that I smoke outside in the backyard lanai. Floridians love their lanais. Prior to this, I had always smoked indoors so as to seclude myself from other people. I never wanted to risk losing the potential for therapeutic healing by exposing myself to negative judgment. In contrast, I can relax and calmly allow my stash to be exposed when Mom comes around with a snack.
Many people are not benefitting from this natural remedy due to the profound damage instigated by misplaced stigma. Before legalization, I felt that cannabis was tainted by shame and paranoia. In reality that was how I was influenced to feel about it. If you’re still feeling guilt and shame in regard to cannabis use, I recommend that you do the same type of analysis for yourself. Where do your beliefs about cannabis come from? Did someone tell you to think that way? The stigma against cannabis has been linked to a number of false ideas, and my hope is that more research and education will change that. This is the deep stuff I like to think about while peacefully enjoying my legal weed, by the pool, in Mom’s backyard lanai. My, how times have changed.
