Stoner Paradise: My Week at Coral Cove Wellness Resort
Photos Courtesy Of Chris Bridsong
I landed in Jamaica early in the morning; the airport was still opening up. A few folks were walking with me through long hallways leading to customs past Jamaican advertisements and Bob Marley quotes to the arrivals lobby where resort drivers were waiting for tourists and taxi drivers gathered en masse.
A True Jamaican Welcome to Coral Cove
It may have been the morning in Jamaica, but I had been up for a long time traveling from Las Vegas. I stopped right outside the door for my first Jamaican purchase, a Red Stripe beer. The cold drink was unbelievably refreshing in the hot and humid weather. With that settled, I watched the crowds and handled some work calls outside waiting for the rest of the Fat Nugs crew to arrive.
The first shuttle was gearing up to leave early. I decided to wait for the second one to get some last-minute work in for the week using the wifi at the arrival lounge. Before they left, the driver gave me two pre-rolls and said “Welcome to Jamaica” before suggesting I wander away from the doors to light up. I can’t think of a better welcome to the country than that.
I hung out around the airport for a bit talking to taxi drivers and declining offers to buy cannabis now and again. Although, I did make one regrettable purchase.
When the rest of the team arrived for shuttle number two, we embarked south and smoked out the van with pre-rolls from Coral Cove Wellness Resort’s on-site dispensary. With Reggae music blaring, we rolled our way down to the coast with several joints making the rounds. For most of the team, this was the first time we met in person. I’ll always remember rolling through the hills passing joints and getting to know one another on that drive.
Exploring Coral Cove’s Pre-Rolls
Each pre-roll came packaged with dispensary and strain info including the packaging date. When we got to the resort, the options for consumption expanded to include pens, infused pre-rolls, regular pre-rolls, and flower. I did not try one of the pens, but they had distillate available to vape if you preferred that. The selection included Durban Poison, Jamaican Fem, Blueberry Muffin, and Wild Thailand. I vape concentrates at home regularly, but while traveling I always prefer to smoke the old-fashioned way, especially when others are there to smoke and enjoy with me.
The pre-roll selection at Coral Cove had 1g pre-rolls of 5 different cultivars. You could choose between Venom OG, Wild Thailand, Maltezers, Blue Wizard, and Luke Skywalker. These pre-rolls were packed just right to allow an even and easy burn, however, the flower was a little on the dry side which impacted some of the flavor. Venom OG was a stand-out here with a nice pine note on the palette. For folks who didn’t have papers or didn’t want to roll up, these were a go-to throughout the week.
The infused pre-roll list included Wild Thailand, Maltezers, Banna Kush, and Strawberry Malawi. From what we could discern, the flower was mixed with kief before being rolled up. These burned a little hotter - as expected with more than flower packed into the papers. Banana Kush got the gold medal in this category from my perspective. The flower had a strong limonene profile, and the smoke reminded me of other haze cultivars, showing its Skunk Haze lineage.
Smoking Jamaican Excellence
Now for the raison d’etre, my favorite category to rate, review and enjoy: flower. Nothing like breaking down some fat nugs with good people, food, and music alongside the beach.
With 14 strains to try, the Coral Cove team prepared a sample bag for all of the Certified Ganjiers on the trip including Purple Punch, Wild Thailand, Venom OG, Maltezers, Mazar x White, Jamaican Fem, Banana Kush, Icy Mint, Blue Wizard, Luke Skywalker and the tried-and-true, Gelato. We were all excited about the lineup and enjoyed trying them out throughout the week.
The Aroma
When it comes to quality, the flower was very dry and lower on the terpene percentage - at least as far as the aroma revealed. If they had more of a nose on them at flower, the terps had since evaporated. This was in some ways a good thing because they had the product stored in a dry place while on the humid and hot Jamaican beachside, a challenge that can’t be easy to overcome. Although it did take away from the unique profiles that each cultivar had.
We worked through the product, breaking buds open and looking for standouts before making sure to try every one of them (multiple times). A majority were indistinguishable from each other, while some others were borderline too dry to consume. There were four that brought the most flavor and potency to the table: the Venom OG and Icy Mint were the best along with runners-up Purple Punch and the Mazar x White.
With all of that flower in the group, there was almost always one joint lit and another on the way rolled by Matt Jerome or myself.
The Potency
The potency of the flower we had at the resort was not known, but if I had to guess from the experience and sheer quantity of joints we consumed, it was well under 20% THC. I found myself having to consume much more than expected to reach the level I was after.
The high was mellow, social, and short-lived, not too heavy or potent. It would have been nice to know the harvest date and grow methods to rate and review it with more specificity.
All of the cannabis was sourced from Jamaican Red Moon Ltd. with packaged dates ranging from April to June 2023. Most of the flower had been packaged for over 6 months, and it was starting to show. The dispensary was located on the resort property a short distance from the main building and kept behind lock, key, and security fence for employees only. Jamaican regulations required it to stay this way, so we didn’t get a walk-through this time.
Cannabis was a constant at Coral Cove. As we roamed the beaches and resort property, it was excellent to have the dispensary on-site. Orders could be put in at the front desk, and they would be brought out to you or ready at the desk for pick-up within the hour. Watching the sunset with a joint or two and the Fat Nugs crew was top-notch. Visiting consumers can be sure that the dispensary has them covered and prepare to try a wide variety of cultivars to supplement the experience.
What’s Cooking at Coral Cove?
The food at Coral Cove is fantastic, and I can’t say enough about the talent of their staff. Here’s what the Fat Nugs team ate during our time in Jamaica
Art Courtesy of Casey Renteria
Monday: Dinner
On the first night, we were treated to a seafood creole including shrimp, mussels, scallops, and squid with jerked chicken cooked there near the tables. Sides of salad and fruit were plentiful along with quinoa, corn, rice, and peas. It was a great accent to a day of travel to officially kick off the week with a plate of delicious food. Pineapple upside-down cake was available for those with a sweet tooth.
Tuesday: 3 Delicious Meals
We started things off with a scrambled egg and bacon breakfast complete with porridge, fried plantains, and other pastry options.
After several hours of sun and chilling, we gathered again for lunch with stewed chicken, rasta “spicy” pasta, curried vegetables, and Jamaican escovitch kingfish, which consisted of a whole fish prepared similar to ceviche with a Jamaican twist.
By the time the sun set, we were hungry indeed and ready for dinner. Chef Morice set out cream of cauliflower soup, salad, and rice with curried goat and pasta marinara. Having a slice of orange chocolate cheesecake or pineapple flan was the last decision to make of the night.
Wednesday: A Full Day of Eating
The breakfast included sausage and baked beans. Potatoes O’Brien was also available, crispy potatoes mixed with peppers, tomatoes, and herbs served alongside an egg station for folks to get omelets or eggs cooked in any way. Lunch was roast breadfruit, cauliflower mornay, and stewed beef with shrimp cooked there on the spot.
We had a heavy smoke session before dinner out at Wabba’s cannabis grow that really made this one hit the spot. Dinner included a fire-roasted bisque, salad, pumpkin rice, coconut veggie stewed fish, oxtail, and jerk pork. The ox tail was marinated in spice and cooked down to perfection. A chocolate cake closed out the menu.
Thursday: Swimming Up an Appetite
Today saw a remix of previous breakfast items along with brown fish. Afterwards, the group explored the island a little bit swimming in a little freshwater lagoon rumored to have been used by Bob Marley himself. It was cool to walk along the countryside under the sun. We were welcomed back to the resort with a lunch of roasted potatoes, pork, vegetable stir fry, and fried chicken.
After our last sunset of the trip, we sat down for the best meal of the week. For dinner, we had grilled rock lobster medallions with garlic butter, more oxtail, curried seafood, herbal mashed potatoes and rice. The lobster was rich and complex, soaked in butter and served by folks we had gotten to know over the week. Good vibes at this meal led into a dessert of vanilla and chocolate creme brulee and sweet potato pudding. This was enough fuel for us to steam chalice for several more rounds with Wabba and the crew into the evening.
Friday: A Breakfast Farewell
On Friday the first of the buses left early but some stayed for breakfast.
Overall, I was pleased with the food at Coral Cove; there was enough to dig in when needed but also options to eat lighter if you preferred. I enjoyed the varied dishes that presented local flavor and history. Meals were a time we all came together throughout the week. Chef Morice and the staff there made for a very relaxing environment with nothing to worry about but the stars over your head and the next recreational activity.
If you like to eat well when you travel, you won’t be disappointed by the menu here. It provides some staples for those with less than diverse palettes while introducing some specialties along the way like oxtail and roasted breadfruit.
